'Finding peace': How a box found in a funeral home basement has helped a long-lost Veteran's family heal

The story begins with Pfc. Robert S. Lutz of Oconomowoc, who joined the U.S. Marine Corps upon his high school graduation in 1967. The oldest of five children, Robert was a standout wrestler in high school and was looked up to by his younger siblings.

Lutz was deployed to Vietnam where, at age 19, he was killed during the Tet Offensive in 1968. Witnesses said Lutz performed heroically on the day of his death, killing enemies who had ambushed his unit and wounded his brothers in arms before he was felled by enemy fire.

Lutz’s body was returned to Oconomowoc, and he was interred with full military honors in St. Jerome Cemetery. However, this was at the height of anti-war sentiment in the country, and family members remember being greeted with indifference, and even hostility, at this mournful time.

Fast forward to the fall of 2022, and a group associated with Blue Butterfly Thrift Store purchases a former Oconomowoc funeral home and sets about renovating it for use by the philanthropic group that aids those in need.

During the work, a box is discovered. Stenciled on the outside is “PFC Robert S. Lutz.” Still taped to the box is the shipping invoice from the U.S. Navy. This was the box that contained Lutz’s body when it was returned to Oconomowoc — 55 years ago.

But those working in the basement that day knew none of this. To them it was a non-descript box bearing an unknown soldier’s name. But one of the volunteers was Derek Harder, a Veteran. He and his wife knew what it was and knew it shouldn’t be tossed out.

So Harder began the search for Lutz’s story, and more importantly, his family.

With the help of Milwaukee VA Medical Center psychiatrist Dr. Michael McBride, Harder connected with Jenny Ebert — Robert Lutz’s niece.

The three met on a Sunday afternoon at the Blue Butterfly.

“We spent almost three hours talking,” Ebert said. “And since then, it’s been one thing after another. … It’s been a whirlwind.”

Born after Lutz’s death, Ebert never knew her eldest uncle, but she knew first-hand the shadow that his death cast over her family.

“I saw how the death of my uncle, and that loss and unresolved grief, can impact a family,” she said. “I didn’t know him, but I feel like I grew up with him because he’s had such an effect in our family.”

Ebert remembers little talk of her uncle while growing up. It wasn’t until traveling versions of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial — aka “The Wall” — came to the area that her father, Terry, began to open up about his brother.

“It was very hard for him,” she said. “But I could see each time he went to see those … he slowly started to heal a little bit.”

But it was the discovery of the box in the old funeral home that has hastened the closing of those old wounds. As the story has spread, people have begun to talk about Robert Lutz, sharing their memories with his family. And that has helped the family.

“It’s been unbelievable — a true miracle and a blessing,” Ebert said. “In just the past couple of weeks, I’ve heard stories about my uncle from my family and people in the Oconomowoc community that I’ve never heard before.

“It’s easing the pain of the loss. It’s making it bearable. I’ve seen my dad go through that pain for 55 years, and if that can be eased a bit, when he does leave this world, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.”

The discovery has spurred other action:

• A group is working on a letter-writing campaign to contact the 1,500 families of Vietnam Veterans who are still listed as missing to let them know they are not forgotten. “If we can use this container to raise attention and awareness of those who do not come home, I think that sends a message,” McBride said.
• The box that contained Lutz’s body will be evaluated by the Wisconsin Veterans Museum in Madison, with all likelihood that it will become part of its collection.

“It’s surreal,” Harder said. “This was just a box in a corner, but to see the story that has come from it is overwhelming.”

Ebert agreed.

“It’s remarkable. The effect that a wooden box can have is amazing,” she said. “That was the sacred container that brought him home … and it has huge meaning.”

Ebert said her father is equally amazed at what has happened.

“He said, ‘It’s so cool that they are talking about him 55 years later. That’s a great honor in the memory of Bob. Finally there’s some recognition for what he gave up,’” Ebert said.

Terry was only 15 months younger than Bob. “They were best friends who did everything together,” Ebert said. “There was no closer bond.

“Now, 55 years later … he’s finding peace. I’ve been blessed to witness the healing of the peace in my dad’s and his sisters’ lives the past couple of weeks. There are just no words to describe it.”